People often focus on the romance of a relationship (or lack thereof) but don’t focus on the relationship itself. This misses the point entirely: With a quality relationship, romance will follow, but not necessarily the other way around!
The cycle often begins for couples when they arrange elaborate dates, elaborate holiday plans, elaborate date anniversaries, and even elaborate wedding plans that focus on one day of idealized romance. This cycle is not healthy in the long run!
Days like: Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, etc, are only as ‘special’ as you make them. You can use them as a way to gauge how much your partner cares about you, but remember they are only a very *small* sample of all of the other days in the year! It’s really most important that you happily live your life with each other everyday –that is the important thing – not just one or two days out of the year.
If you’re serious, focus instead on what the next 50 years will be like with this same person. Show that you care for your partner by doing nice things for them throughout the year. Don’t become obsessed with what society says you must go buy: the latest and greatest gadget or bouquet of flowers is not necessary to show your loved one that you care. Something as simple as doing something unexpected for your partner that frees up their time will be much more appreciated than a box of chocolates. Focusing on how to improve your relationship on a daily basis is the best gift you can give yourselves throughout the year.
Always treat partner with respect and kindness. Find out what your partner’s expectations are and what they consider to be respectful and kind. This is paramount! Remember, *they* not *you* are the judge of this!
Be open and honest in communication. Have realistic expectations of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Life is not a romance novel and it should not be treated as such. Why would you want your life to have such sappy plot-lines anyway???
Be vocal about your needs. Remember, your partner cannot read your mind. Reduce any passive aggressive behavior and become an effective communicator. This can help avoid a lot of misunderstanding down the road.
Do not be threatened by partner setting some goals that don’t involve you. Remember, not every member of a team will have the same talents and responsibiliites.
Set relationship goals, consciously, in both the short term and long term. Think about how they can be met, and discuss progress on them from time to time.
Always remember that your life partner deserves the best you have to give. This is the person you have *chosen* to spend the largest portion of your life with – no other person in your life has been given that much thought or consideration. Make sure your partner knows just how important they are to you!
|© Submit to Any - jjtcomputing.co.uk|